The dark, depressing night enclosed
in winter’s twisted, deathly throes;
a maelstrom, fiery, white-hot glows
and in it, memories.
And flashed before my teary eyes
were all my hopes that were denied
every failure and every climb
from which I ever fell.
Empty cans barraged my skull
at speeds enough to surely kill
As lacerations flayed my flesh
from splintered bottles, drained vampiric.
All the sordid words I’d spoken
Tore my eardrums bleeding open
Every act that caused some harm
tore to ribbons my sore, fat arm.
Every rank, dank breath I choked on
caused by all the hearts I’d broken.
All the people I’d let down
Acid-kissed my sullen frown.
All the time I’d ever wasted
raped my body; made me aged.
Deranged and down and bloodied, beat. A corpse so fragile, frail and weak.
To pain, of course, he was magnetic because this bitch was so pathetic.
He couldn’t talk, he couldn’t smile, he couldn’t stay and chat a while.
A loner, sad, sullen and shifty who threw his hand in far too quickly.
This a man deserving nothing, But that which he received.
When, oh when can I forget
every sorry, harsh regret?
Every time I acted wrong.
Every wretched painful moment gone.
When can I, in mirrors see,
a good face staring back at me
and not this ghostly misery
that sullen, sad eyed mystery.
And how can my heart feel whole,
and how can my mind set a goal,
when my veins run icy cold,
and everything that was my soul
my body evacuated in Genesis.
And then what’s left?
What then is this?
A body bereft of anything;
A golem, soulless, cold as stone,
Naught but rotten flesh and bone.
And still the maelstrom carries on
as if my pain just isn’t done.
The storm is just relentless, ceaseless
erodes away my human features
until all’s left is nothing where nobody used to be.