Mercer's Poems
Coming Soon… Through the Cooking Gas!

It’s been a while since I have made any sort of formal announcement about any new piece of work - mainly because they all seem to falter somewhere around the first few thousand words and I change ideas. But this one seems to have stuck. I am enjoying the direction and the messages therein, and I am working hard on it. So, here are the details. 

Punny titled ‘Through the Cooking Gas (and What Alan Found There)’ is the tale of a miserable young man named Alan, who decides to take his own life by sticking his head in the oven. A somewhat antiquated suicide method these days, but one that can still work, albeit mainly through asphyxiation than by toxicity (I checked my facts! :P)

His attempt, he believes, fails when nearly twenty minutes pass and he still is seemingly alive. He breaths a heavy sigh of despair and when his sigh appears to melt a hole in his wall he suspects he is suffering some hallucination effect and decides to go to bed. His bed, however, tells him to wake up and introduces him to someone very important. Sossy McWhiskers, a black and white cat in a top hat with a string of sausages for a tail. 

It turns out, Alan is stuck in an hallucinatory limbo, conjured up by his subconscious on the cusp between life and death because, despite Alan having consciously made the choice to die, his subconscious - with all it’s capacity for instincts and survival - rather disagrees with this choice. It seeks to remind Alan that his consciousness is merely a construct of his subconscious mind - and Alan wants to prove otherwise before allowing himself to die in peace. During the course of which Alan and Sossy travel through what could be described as unimaginable worlds, were they not residing solely within Alan’s imagination. Travelling on his old battered couch that, Transformer-like, turns into a rather comfy spacecraft, and taking advantage of televisual wormholes - Alan and Sossy go on adventure that explores the very nature of existence, the self, perception, psychology and philosophy. Engaging with strange new worlds, seeing rat things with huge pairs of tits and all the while trying to rather insanely put meaning on it all. 

A tale that weaves absurdity and humour into a more philosophical story (certainly than Easy as a Bee, See?), and one of self-discovery gone a little bit astray, Through the Cooking Gas is probably the most personal piece of prose I have ever written and yet at the same time one of the most outlandish. I hope to have it finished within a few months, and after that it shall take some editing and formatting to have it publishable. So expect it soon! :) 

Easy as a Bee, See? Even the bees demand you buy it! US visitors - Click here Visitors - Click here keep the bees happy! *image used is freely obtained from the internet. If this is your image, and you have a problem with me using it get in touch and I will remove it straight away* *also, if I actually get any sales of it, you can have a decent cut…which will be like, 20p or whatever, but it’s better than nothing*  

Easy as a Bee, See? 

Even the bees demand you buy it!

US visitors - Click here

UK Visitors - Click here

and keep the bees happy!

*image used is freely obtained from the internet. If this is your image, and you have a problem with me using it get in touch and I will remove it straight away*

*also, if I actually get any sales of it, you can have a decent cut…which will be like, 20p or whatever, but it’s better than nothing*  

Easy As A Bee, See?

Available now on Kindle and in paperback, experience the novel that literally no one is talking about! 

Easy As A Bee, See? sees protagonist Gordon, a customer service phone operative for an insurance company, wrapped up in a twisted plot orchestrated by owls and carried out by bees after a rather unfortunate and infuriating telephone call from a customer.

Not knowing what to do or where to go, luckily Gordon had been monitored - by the Global Bee Taskforce, who have known about the plot by the bees to enslave humanity for some time. The owls, however, they did not know about. And they are keen to learn more.

Join Gordon, his friend Karl, his romance Helen, and his supersecretagent buddy Tony and their 1971 Ford Capri 3000GT - in a rip roaring adventure of conspiracy, espionage, bees, owls, bad action, Gordon talking a lot, Tony being cool and masses of social satire. 

Why not have a review as well!:

This is a very funny novel. Made me laugh out loud quite a few times. It’s a writing style I’m not familiar with and would like to see more often. The authorial voice is hilarious and refreshingly original and honest. One word that best describes ‘Easy as a Bee, See?’: Original”
Jenny Eyles 

US Readers Click Here 

UK Readers Click here 

And grab your copies of this unique work!

Also, click the ‘Like’ button on Amazon, even if you don’t buy it. Makes it more visible to others and does me a favour.

Peace and love.  

Buy My Books

You can read them on your Kindle, 
You can read them on your phone.
You can read them if you’re single,
they’re probably best if you’re alone.
You can read them on your tablet,
You can read them on PC,
You can’t read them on an aglet,
for they’d be too small to see.
You can read them in your living room,
you can read them on the bog,
you can read them at your spinning loom, 
you can read them with your dog. 
You can read them with your cat, too
or any pet of your choosing. 
You can read them getting a tattoo, 
but probably not while snoozing. 

In fact, you can read then any place, 
so why not take the chance. 
They may put a smile across your face, 
if you only give them a glance. 

***** Note: Books available for Kindle can be viewed on many platforms, see the end of this post for details :) ****

Books available are; 

Alcoholic Ambling and Suicide Scribblings
A poetry collection detailing my struggle with booze, depression and anxiety. Since misery loves company, why not indulge me and pick it up. I know you want to, because you’re a sadist, you’re just going to laugh at my bad times But don’t worry, I do that too. Well, it’s more insane cackling. 
Anyway, it has been described as ‘relatable’, ‘intimate and well written’, ‘powerful, harrowing, passionate, comforting and true’ and ‘fascinating’. So, why not trust those other opinions and see if you can relate.

Only £1.96 for UK folk, head here to Amazon to pick it up! 

Or my lovely friends across the pond can pick it up for $3.02 

We then have;

How To Win At Life By Being A Smug, Self-Righteous, Smarmy, Grinning Self-Help Twat

A kind of, cynical look at the bullshit self-help genre, tackling their general and vague advice that has little or no relevance on real life or the ultimate goal we should all work for, humanity and compassion. 
As such, I critique what they might say, throw in my own realist opinion, and collect together a few of my more positive poems to remind you how wonderful and beautiful you all are. My best-selling work so far, why not see what the fuss is about?

And why not add this marvelous review too;

The cover of Mercer’s second volume is somewhat deceptive. While the author indeed writes with a good deal of humor, this is a thoughtful book with a good deal of life wisdom tucked in around the self-deprecation and biting sarcasm. Don’t come here if you are looking for smug platitudes and heartwarming tales of triumph over adversity, Mercer does not pull his punches even in this more ‘jolly’ collection. Still this is an entertaining read that gently reminds the reader to be kinder to himself, to accept and allow the kindnesses of others and above all, to love.”

Only £2 for my UK people, you can find it here, 

and US folk, don’t feel disheartened. Here, you can get it for $3.09! 

And now for something completely different;

Easy as a Bee, See?

My debut novel is a delving into the world of political chicanery. Conspiracy and intrigue abound in this no nonsense thriller that has bees being used by a cabal of owls to take over the world…
Okay, so it’s not so much a no nonsense thriller as a nonsensical satire, but that does not give it any less credibility. I thoroughly enjoyed working on this and by all accounts the people who have read it thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
A brief summary; a gent named Gordon, who works in insurance, becomes involved in the bees plot to enslave humanity after a particularly odd customer service phone call. Subsequently he and his friends end up joining up with the Global Bee Taskforce, the agency tasking with bringing down the bees, to save humanity from its impending doom.  
It may be a generic sounding plot, but believe me it is laced with twists and turn, easily exposed plot-holes, strange interjections and a whole lot of fun, so why not give it a read.

Available for £3.59 in the UK! That’s a special sale price so get it while you can! 

And in the US, it is yours for $5.54! 

***************Kindle on other platforms********************

You don’t have to own one of Amazon’s flagship devices to enjoy my Kindle content. Kindle apps are available for many devices. There is a Kindle for PCs and Macs application; as well as apps for all Apple portable products (ipods, iphones, ipads) and Android support too. More technical details as to how you can access Kindle content can be found here;