Mercer's Poems

Stay thy tongue, offensive toad, 
We like not what thou dost say. 
From forked tongue comes a verbose load
of words for which thou shalt pay. 

Hear not we the satire,
nor the unrelenting sadness
as thy mocking words expose a world
embracing serious madness.
Hear we thought naught critical
of existing perception,
aye, stay thy tongue, oh merciless devil; 
In silence, no exception. 

Ladies, Gentlemen, I do beseech, 
grant this devil one more speech. 
Is a word, and it’s reception 
not the manifest of thy perception?
My tongue is neither bullet nor blade, 
Why then dost thou call it stayed? 
Why, men may wound and mar and maim, 
but I the one who takes the blame?
For choosing as my only sword 
the harmless, sarcastic, spoken word. 
A debate may be an ire, or bore 
but preferable is that to war. 
If all we did was speak our minds 
for battle there would be no time. 
For actions louder than words do speak
and actions, not words make futures bleak. 
A battle of wits requires not strong arms, 
but stronger minds, and much less harm. 
And offense to words can be entombed 
in ignorance; The same not true for wounds.
So I’ll stay my tongue, aye, I’ll cut it out.
And see how thou dost cope without
the chance for debate via reason and thought
Or satire nonsensical and fool’s words wrought.
An equal footing between offender and offended, 
shall die when my flapping tongue be mended.
Instead, you’ll replace my words with violence.
Aye, I’d take loud offense, over silence.  

With spongy ears wide open I absorb your inanity. 
Each droplet of your mediocrity merely feeding my insanity. 
Yet, still I listen carefully,  it is the path I choose to walk.
I say, “I am always here if you ever need to talk.”
Words said with sincerity but also deep regret,
because while I’m always there for you, It’s I who you forget.
Is it selfish of me, once in a while, to need a willing ear?
But we’re all human beings, if not for each other, why are we here?
It is not like I am needy or crave undeserved attention 
it is merely nice once in a while to get a fucking mention.
It’s simply good to know your ‘friends’ can pick up on your tone
and recognise when you are feeling down, and lost - alone.
And yet, you don’t…No, not if it could get you down.
Better to let a man kill himself than share his troubled frown.
There’s a reason I dislike this Earth and the folk who dwell upon it. 
There’s a reason for every negative, ire fueled, damning sonnet.
These misanthropic odes come not from hate, but disappointed love. 
As you curse bullshit fates or pray in faith to Lords above. 
Stand up and take responsibility for your own selfish acts.
You’re a horrid, sorry, loathsome creature, face the fucking facts!
Misanthropes exist not out of bitterness and spite
but out of human inhumanity and actions selfish, cold and trite.
Each person is a sculpture humanity as a whole does carve, 
a murderer is born for every child that does starve. 
Those who, tearful, sorry, beg in desperate, primal need 
exist only as there are some who can’t control their greed. 
And is it any wonder that elicit drug use increases year on year, 
when war, and hate and division lead to suffering and fear. 
Do I have to say it once again? That man delight not me?
Aye, because you lap it up, with sadistic fucking glee. 
Embracing words of tortured souls, the misery and pain
absorbed by your own callous heart -You feel alive again. 

Each night a silent scream
as the second hand flicks merrily
across the face of the clock
like a taunting, rotating, sinister moustache.
The villainous face grins at me.
Each echoing tick like diabolical laughter.
What I would not give to see that smirk
wiped off the face of that clock
and replaced with the bittersweet tears
that fall down mine.
The whole world, asleep and uncaring,
selfishly, blissfully resting
while you writhe and coil,
snake like,
around the carcass of your own sanity.
Your yawning jaw gapes and dislocates
as it consumes sanity whole.

Allergic to the sandman’s dust,
it brings not pleasant dreams
and wistful, wishful fantasy.
But nausea and headaches,
and puffy, streaming eyes.
Prostrate next to me
in my hard, uncomfortable bed
lies not a body of unbridled love.
But misery and cancer
in the form of empty space
and discarded cigarette boxes.
Exotic insignia etched upon their
cardboard frames tell of such
distant locations as I will I could dwell.
Instead I merely sate my lungs
with their empty promises,
and consciously dream of unconsciously dreaming.

Nightfall merely a hangman’s noose,
the crepuscular calls of savage predatory birds my knell. 
A part of me dies each lonely, sleepless night. 
A part of me impossible to replace.  

Well, there seems to be some demand for more silliness from me, but sadly my archived material of this is almost all gone. One poem I can remember is a parody of a poem that I studied back in the old classroom days of English Literature, entitled Hungry Ghost - It was a beautiful poem and I mean it no disrespect, and, I hope the author doesn’t mind my posting it here for admiration and comparison. Needless to say my inherent desire to interpret things as literally as possible led to my somewhat deconstructing the whole thing into a childish farce. 

Here is the original poem.

Hungry Ghost
By Debjani Chatterjee

Today I went shopping with my father
after many years. I felt I was back
in time to when I’d follow grandfather
to the market, smelling the spicy scents,
drinking the sights and mingling with the shouts.
Neither buyer nor seller, I would float
like a restless spirit, hungry for life.

 The market is bigger. I have grown too.
There are more goods as distances have shrunk.
The prices are higher. I understand
about money and, alas, its bondage
of buyers and sellers. Almost I wish
I was again that hungry ghost, watchful
and floating through the world’s noisy bazaar. 

And here is my somewhat less erudite version.

Hungry Ghost
By Mercer

I wandered lonely as a ghost,
looking for a piece of toast.
A bit of ham, a piece of cheese;
Won’t somebody feed me please?
I’ll eat chicken, I’ll eat liver,
I’ll eat fresh fish from the river.
All these things I like the most,
because I am, a hungry ghost.


I’ve no idea why I remember that word for word, just sticks in my head I suppose. I used to write silly things like that all the time in my school days, and it is the silly poems I miss the most now. I am often too serious, too weary and worn down, too bloody miserable, really. It is difficult to write with such naivety and stupidity but, I hope that I can start pulling a few little oddities out of my hat for you. It was writing silly verse such as the above that really got me into poetry in the first place, really and were it not for my school hours idled away scrawling in my exercise books when I should have been working, this tumblr may not exist. If I find any old and silly poems such as these, I promise I shall share them because, while my older serious works are a bit of an embarrassment to me, my stupidity still makes me chuckle and fills me with a warm nostalgic glow. It reminds me of why I do this. Because words are fun to play with, they are exciting and odd and you can do wondrous things with them, whether you are making people laugh, making people think, or, indeed, making people cry. Communication is a marvelous gift.  

I walked around for six months with a lemur on my femur
and it professed to me it’s job was as a hotel cleaner,
and I must admit I was confused, to me it didn’t seem a
lemur on my femur could ever be a cleaner.
But I was a dreamer, so the lemur on my femur
I agreed must be a cleaner, and I must surely deem a
cleaner lemur on my femur to be a great poetic theme, a
truly silly poem that would match the lemur’s demeanour.  

Now the cleaner lemur on my femur was adept at hopping 
and hopping never stopping it set it off to do my shopping. 
To his iPod bobbing, to the latest hits chart topping 
the cleaner lemur on my femur set off to do my shopping.
But clumsy was the lemur so my bags he kept on dropping
and the whopping mass of products in their packaging were popping
and soaked with sweat and sopping, the lemur stopping hopping 
and his gait took on a dejected form, a-limping and a-lopping. 
And thus it was with sadness the the lemur needed chopping. 

So the cleaner lemur on my femur was, quite rightly sacked
and the clothes he had unpacked were duly restacked and repacked. 
But the lemur, I, he tracked until my rota he could enact and
catching me quite unawares, I was, in fact, attacked. 
The lemur smacked and whacked upon my intestinal tract 
and trying to escape I found my feet, they had been tacked
unto the floor in measures merely to distract, 
as the cleaner lemur, from my femur, my computer hacked! 
I feared my attention slacked, this plot I’d failed to react 
with sufficient haste to prevent my life being ransacked. 
My identity he cracked and took it as his own, in fact, 
as business in my name the lemur began to transact. 
Now he, the cleaner lemur, my curse, my anathema
was I, the human dreamer and I
The cleaner lemur who did dwell upon my femur.


 

Without your help, this could well be the very end of the humanistic approach to the Occupy movement. If you believe in doing right by your fellow human being, and standing up for fairness and equality for all, then you have probably been pleased with the fact that the Occupy movement was encompassing of all, regardless of their situation in life, regardless of their stance in politics, regardless of race, gender or religion. One thing the Occupy movement has done very well is give the homeless people of each camp’s respective cities and towns a place where not only can they have shelter, company, and food, things which they desperately need, but they can have a political voice too. They can get a voice heard that they do not usually have the opportunity to do. These homeless individuals are not apart of society, they are a part of society and one that this very unfair system creates. Through numerous avenues, the biggest one at the moment being something as cynical and disgusting as mortgage foreclosure, Americans are being made homeless. People worldwide are made homeless as a result of a financial system that prides itself on being miserly, ruthless, greedy and not-human. 

This used to be what the Occupy movement was about. A return to the human being, not the bank balance. A respect for the individual, not the wealth behind them. And these homeless Occupy Warriors were part of the key to that success. After all, what more committed an occupier can you get than one who has no home to go to elsewhere? Well, now it seems, their support is dwindling. Adbusters, the organisation that initially proposed Occupy Wall Street, and sprang a whole movement from it, now feels that occupations have run their course. As a result, they are no longer helping to support camps that are getting violently evicted by police. They are no longer willing to stand up for the rights of the people to protest and, why? Because they decided it was too much? Because they decided people should move on? Well pardon me but, I thought the whole point of this movement was there were no leaders and everything was decided on consensus? Were the people of occupy consulted about this? And if so, why the fuck did they agree?

Well, for clues on why individuals might be agreeing to stupidity such as this you need to look at all groups involved. I have mentioned Adbusters, who apparently stupidly decided to set up a revolution when they had neither the balls, the brains, nor the patience to continue it. Another group currently seeking to suppress the movement, and turn it into something altogether less inclusive and humanist in its aims is OccupyTogether.org. I’m also hearing the name ‘UncleRush’ who turns out to be some motherfucking greedy arsebasket, whose twitter bio is advertising a book of his entitled ‘SuperRich - The guide to having it all’ It claims to be a book about enriching your soul and happiness but, of course, it also includes tips on how to help yourself make a fuckload of money…Go figure!? That this guy could become some de facto spokesperson for a movement opposed to the individual pursuit of wealth as a means of happiness and respect!  What is more, a group called UnitedNY, whom in a previous blog I implored you all to research, were involved in the huge show on November 17th in New York, and seemed to take some kind of elitist control of events, despite Occupy Wall Street being an apparently leaderless movement, this group set themselves up as leaders! And to top it all, some gobby, credit and adoration loving motherfucker Anthony Kapel ‘Van’ Jones decided he’d like to get on TV and take some credit too, and he did, much to the adulation of a waiting public who seemed very quick to deify him without even questioning his motives, his intentions or his allegiances. Occupy Together were also involved in a bit of a scandal when they had a television advertisement aired, with their name on it, that they claimed was not made by them but was paid for in terms of production and air time by only $6000 - Now forgive me for being suspicious, but I call bullshit on that one. Maybe you could get short spots on local cable TV for that, but this ad was run on Bloomberg for crying out loud! YES Bloomberg! Thus directly paying the companies of the Mayor who has shown himself to be in nothing but ruthless opposition to the whole damn movement to the point of his openly allowing the city police to get away with brutality and illegal actions. 

So call me a cynic, call me suspicious, but when people mentioned some of these things to me, and mentioned how they would like to look further into these individuals and groups to find out quite where their priorities lay, I jumped at the chance to join in.
What follows is not evidence or accusation of anything, it is all links, circumstantial links, but numerous and too prominent to ignore. As the old adage goes, ‘there is no smoke without fire’ and it seems there is a veritable inferno under the Occupy movement right now, and one that, on current showing, appears to be growing in strength. The movement is becoming less and less about what it was set up to be, and more and more about something else entirely. Hopefully, some of these links can make you think, make you question the way things are going and whether you want to be part of them, or whether you want to be part of a movement more dedicated to the original cause. I hope you find in favour of the latter, because the movement needs more independent bodies and minds behind it.

so, we shall start at the beginning. Suspicions were first aroused, as mentioned above, when a national TV Ad campaign was shown, this is a link to the ad in question. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVQPo62x3UI - Seems harmless enough right? But here’s the boast in the description (a description might I add, that asks for donations too!) “It has already aired on Fox News, History Channel, Bloomberg and elsewhere!” - And therein lies the problem. Initially, the official story was that this ad was produced without Occupy Together’s knowledge (despite the fact that their logo at the end is very well made and prominent, hardly the work of someone who was just tagging their name at the end out of ‘solidarity’) But also, this ad, apparently on only $6000, managed to buy thirty seconds of airtime on a plethora of national networks in the US…$6000…for a 30 second ad spot….On MULTIPLE NATIONAL NETWORKS! Forgive me for being suspicious, but that looks, sounds and smells like bullshit to me. So where did the money come from? Well, it was Occupy Together’s lack of transparency on that question that led to myself and others looking a bit further into just who was funding Occupy Together, and who did they have links with.

Well, the ad itself was heavily promoted by an organisation known as Rebuild The Dream - They can be found at http://rebuildthedream.com but just who are they? You can find their pretty mission statement about rebuilding America from the ground up here, http://rebuildthedream.com/about.php but, their main spokesperson and one of the founders of the movement is on Mr. Van Jones, who was mentioned above. So who is Van Jones?  Anthony Kapel ‘Van’ Jones is many things, an attorney, a civil rights activist, but one thing that cannot be ignored is that Van here was once a special adviser to Barack Obama himself on green jobs. Pardon my suspicions but I’m not sure I truly trust people with such close, partisan links to, not only one particular party, but indeed, one particular individual who will be campaigning for reelection next year. But, surely Van Jones is not the only person or group behind Rebuild The Dream?

You would be correct, you see, most of the money and clout behind Rebuild The Dream came from an organisation known as MoveOn.org - And just who are they? I hear you ask. Well visit their website and find out http://front.moveon.org/ - At my current time of looking at it, their top political ad says “Don’t be stupid, Be Democrats.” This is an organisation that is so partisan to the Democrat movement it is unbelievable, and shameful on OccupyTogether for allowing themselves to get involved with any groups so heavily invested in them, i.e. Rebuild The Dream. It all begs the question, is Occupy Together just a spin off. Is Occupy Together merely a movement that feigns independence whilst receiving funding from big, Democrat partisan organisations? 

Here is the deal, in all this trawling and research, looking for links, it was our mission to find links to the Republicans. We felt sure that, behind all this, there was big money, and big money does not care who it is aligned to. But the links were difficult. Almost all roads led to Democrats or Democrat partisan support groups. This is a worry, particularly in the run up to an election campaign. The possibility of co-option of the Occupy movement for mainstream political gain has been a warning many have put out but too few have heeded, but the actions of the likes of Adbusters and OccupyTogether seem to be allowing the movement to head in that direction! It may be naivety on their part, it may be someone pulling the strings, but whatever it is, people need to resist it!

We’ll move on, this time to UnitedNY. My suspicions in these individuals were aroused immediately when Tim Pool, the independent journalist broadcasting a live stream from Occupy Wall Street, was denied access to the ‘inner sanctum’ of the November 17th protests. The group that had denied him access was this shadowy UnitedNY troupe, who, by all eyewitness accounts and statements where behaving as ‘de facto’ police, and being rude to protesters.
Well, their website at the time was down, but I managed to find out a little information. First of all, for an organisation who were bossing things on November 17th, their website is small time! Their bandwidth was incapable of dealing with the rush of traffic that came their way after Tim’s encounter with them on the live stream, and the livestream was only being viewed by 30,000 people or so. You’d assume an organisation with the man power and legs to control a protest with estimates of around 10-20,000 people would have a website capable of handling that sort of traffic, right? Well, apparently not, since some delving into their statistics at the time revealed their average number of page views, per day, was only 154…What is more, links to their previous civil actions was scant, indeed, the only time I could see this organisation had organised anything before (and believe me, it was far from advertised) was a protest in support of President Obama’s jobs plan. Photographs of this protest featured a lot of signs bearing the characteristic A with a star in the centre of the aforementioned Rebuild The Dream? Coincidence? Maybe, but, call me suspicious, I don’t believe in coincidences where any of this is concerned! Is it more believable that these organisations are working together to co-opt what is a huge movement for their own political gains, or more believable that they all just enjoy a handshake, a chat and an undercurrent of support for President Obama?
Well, perhaps that can be cleared up when you delve a little further and find the name of UnitedNY’s spokespersons. One Mr. Doug Forand. Now, Dougy here, far from being the non-partisan supporter of right and just, humancentric politics, is a founding partner of a business known as Red Horse Strategies. And just who are they exactly? Well, they are a campaign management firm. They handle election campaigns for politicians, just so you know. So it seems far from UnitedNY being the non-partisan believers in a leaderless movement, they are run by individuals who make their money getting people elected. 
Does this tie in with anything I have mentioned before? Well I am glad you were curious enough to ask. The UnitedNY website was hosted at an IP address of a server for an organisation known as Change to Win. If you go to change to wins website http://changetowin.org/ you will see, on the right hand side, a lovely image of the US flag with the tagline beneath “REBUILD THE AMERICAN DREAM” - Wait? Haven’t we seen that tagline before? Yes! As a matter of fact, we have. It is one of the main slogans of the lovely Van Jones and MoveOn.org vehicle Rebuild The Dream!!!!! 

But do the links go further than this? Is there any concrete evidence that these people are trying to co-opt the movement? Well, as I said, these are just links, but as far as ‘links’ go, this is not so much peopled in bed with each other as a full on fucking Roman orgy! And all these organisations, every person, every org, everything listed here has links to the unions. One of the unions heavily involved with all these vehicles is SEIU - and what is SEIU’s current statement on their front page? http://www.seiu.org/ ”SEIU Endorses President Obama for Reelection.” 

Now, as I’ve said, numerous times. These are just links, I am making no concrete accusations, or allegations. But if you are a believer in this movement, if you are a support of Occupy, whether it be on Wall Street or the streets of your own city or town, whether it be in the United State or globally, THIS AFFECTS YOU! The large organisations that were once willing to throw their legal support behind you in the face of police brutality and political suppression, now seem to be siding with Democrat partisan unions and their policies. The same people who have asked the destitute, and the homeless to fight on the frontlines of their political ambitions are now abandoning them, and telling them if they want to Occupy somewhere, go occupy a homeless shelter!

What appears to be going on, at least in this author’s mind, is a disgusting manipulation of a pure movement of the people into something that is nothing short of a bullshit political manifesto in support of a Democrat President who has been part of the problem from the start, with his support of the Patriot Act, with his commitment to unjust war, and huge tax-payer funded bailouts of the big, corrupt banking institutions that was the very catalyst for these protests!

Maybe you believe there is something to these links. Maybe you don’t. But please, be suspicious, ask questions, demand answers and be independent. Stop relying on large, shadowy groups to accept donations and call shots for you. This movement is one centred around leaderlessness and individuality. Forgive my Life of Brain quote but “You are all individuals!”
If your suspicions, too, have been aroused by what I have said then get in touch. I can be contacted on twitter @mercerspoems and I am willing to send you the documentation of the investigation that I was a part of. We need more people looking into this, we need more concrete establishment of the co-option of the movement and we need more natural suspicion amongst its supporters! Stop believing that if you criticise it, you are in someway against it! It is right, and natural to criticise things, and you should never let anything get in the way of that.
Please, think for yourselves. Is this movement moving in the direction you want to? Or does it appear to have lost it’s true and right aims and be heading in a direction all together more sinister and politically motivated? Please ask the questions. Please, think. For the sake yourselves, of the movement, and of the people it was set up to defend!  

Wow…This makes the previous post look like nothing but a fucking marketing ploy, but really it wasn’t! 

You may not be aware, but financially, like a lot of people, I am figuratively fucked! I am currently living on disability due to my mental illness and, like most people, I don’t want to be. Particularly not when I have talents, such as my writing, at my disposal which could be being used to generate an income.

So here is my offering to you, Alcoholic Ambling and Suicide Scribblings, my first collection of poems published on Amazon Kindle.
I will admit, a lot of it is available here for no charge. Call me an idealist but I like being that way about my work. But for those who are willing to help an artist make a living off of what he does, stop relying on the crooked state to supply him an income, and get himself away from the tyranny of his horrible bank, there are a few exclusives tucked away in this tome just for you.
What is more, you have to admire the incredibly shoddy cover! It is truly a work of genius! Who am I kidding, it is crap, but this is a work in progress that I am hoping to update and make it look prettier, I’m still learning the art of self publishing and I am just looking for your kindness and support, and your thanks if you appreciate what I do.

Here are the links.
For the US Market - You want to head here - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006C49WRK 
It is priced at $2.99 - Which may seem a lot compared to other ebooks, but this was the cheapest I could go on the 70% royalty option and thus, you are safe in the knowledge that 70% of what you pay helps fund me, the artist, to keep doing what I am doing.
For the UK Market, head here
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006C49WRK
The price is £2.18 - that’s inclusive of VAT and this price is in line with that of the US release.
For the German Market, you can go here
https://www.amazon.de/dp/B006C49WRK
and the French Market, head here
https://www.amazon.fr/dp/B006C49WRK
The price for the European release is 2,99 and, as with the UK release, this was in line with the US market.

Again, I must state that I know this is a bit of a rushed release and is possibly not the best formatted work in the marketplace. But the words are what are truly important and they are all there. With their usual Mercer passion and aplomb. So, if you appreciate what I do, if you read and enjoy my poems and blogs and if you can spare it, please, help support this young artist and help him fulfill his dream! I’ve dreamed for YEARS about making a living, even if only a meagre one, from what I do. You can help that dream come true. And for those of you know me, you know I will not squander that money and will do more than enough for causes greater than mine with it.

Thank you so much people for your support, and for putting up with a blog post of what accounts to, essentially, marketing bullshit! My apologies for this but sadly, we live in a world where a man has to make a living. I’m just trying to make mine. Thank you. Peace and love. x 

I’ll be the first to admit I am a misanthrope. There is nothing that frustrates me more, gives me more displeasure than, or provides me with more targets for my vitriolic ammunition, than the fellow human being. But here is where I am a soul divided. Because I love you. I love you all, so bloody much!

That’s where my anger and misanthropy comes from. When you do stupid things, I get a little mad. I’m reactive like that, I guess I feel too much. It’s not something I would admit to freely. I like to pretend I’m some kind of emotion-free automaton. A machine built on reason and logic. But my passion is evident in my words, and, for the first time, I think I’m starting to show it in life as well. I am shedding a shy, protective exoskeleton and showing the true, emotional self beneath.

For that I have you people to thank. You wonderful followers from my twitter and my tumblr. Because to you, for possibly the first time to anyone, I was genuine. And you didn’t shun me, you didn’t berate me, you didn’t mock me (at least not without my starting it!), and you taught me that I can be me. I had always thought I was a no-no in society. That society naturally disliked me and, well, some in society still do. I can see why, when someone has a mouth bigger than their ego it means they’re not afraid to go upsetting people or saying the ‘wrong thing’ and this much I am guilty of. I rarely discuss my personal life much on twitter, but I do discuss my personal feelings and you are always there to offer a shoulder to lean on, cry on, or sexually molest depending on what mood is striking me!

I’ve come to accept that I’m still going to have down days and bad moods. But on those days, there’s always someone asking me what is up. I will generally tell people not to worry about it, very rarely will an issue be so big to me that I feel the need to bother people with it. But just knowing that some of you are there makes me feel so much better. It lets me know that whenever it is getting too much, you will genuinely care about me, you will genuinely listen to my problems and comfort me. It’s something that in my slightly turbulent years I had lost sight of. In fact, not even in my turbulent years, before my life was turbulent I had lost faith in people.  In all fairness, some of the people I had known had made me as such. And I feared. I feared I would never trust another human being again. I feared I would consistently feel out of place. I feared that there was no place for me among the people. But now I feel accepted, I feel welcomed. I feel loved and, more than that, I am beginning to accept it. That’s a big thing to me, I will be the first to admit I think I am a dickhead, so to be able to accept that other people don’t accept me as such is a big step. 

To you people, you lovely, beautiful people, I give my thanks. Thank you for saving a soul. I only took to sharing my writing, and opening a twitter account to do so, after my suicide attempt. I was merely looking to share my soul, to be perfectly honest, quite safe in the knowledge I felt sure I was going to try to take my life again and this time succeed! Instead what I found was a group of people who made me live anew. Who gave me strength when I had none and who still do so. Thank you. 

Well, now I would like to give a few personal shoutouts to people who have been particularly prominent on my twitter timeline in terms of keeping my mood up.
First and foremost I must thank @jeeezelouise - Your constant support has me smiling far more than I would care mention. I don’t lie when I say I consider you an angel, I really do and I am sure many people who know you are just as aware of how huge, welcoming, and warm your heart is. You helped reignite a spark of hope and joy in a heart that knew only cold despair and is now burning with passionate flames of humanity and doing what is right. Thank you, so much. 
@hicksfilosopher - You never fail to make me laugh! You are the personification of lulz! And to know a truly good person such as yourself is an honour. Sometimes your words are an inspiration. Sometimes, they’re just a funny joke. Both are infinitely welcome, and you have shown, on many occasions that you have a heart so big it needs its own zipcode. Thank you, so much.
@guineapig66 - You are like a mentor to me for true goodness of spirit. Your humility is inspiring, although often frustrating because you really deserve to feel better about yourself.  You’re a great person, and I have to admit, our conversations have dragged me out of many a mire. If I can have half as much heart and care in my heart as you have in yours, I shall be a rich man indeed. Thank you, so much. 
@shau_tutze Your heart knows know bounds. You are one reason why I have regained faith in humanity. Knowing individuals such as yourself exist fills me with hope, and passion. And you have been very kind to me. That I appreciate. Your are an amazing human being, and people would do well to follow your lead. You’re an inspiration to me. Thank you, so much.
@ExiledSurfer - I don’t get to chat with you much, friend, but were it not for your influence and support I probably would have packed in this little writing gig a long time ago and disappeared from the face of twitter forever. You helped make me what I am today, and for that I have eternal thanks. What is more, your dedication to good causes, and doing the right thing, is nothing short of admirable. Your soul is one of purity, and you are an excellent person. And for your support of me, and helping me get where I am now, I thank you. Thank you, so much. 
@AsViewedBy - What can I say to you? Someone who shares my humanistic misanthropic pain? You help me understand myself. You help me come to terms with some of my feelings on life and humanity; and all the while you yourself are busy standing up for righteous causes with intelligence that I’ve no shame in admitting I admire. And if I’m not busy admiring your smart ways, I’m giggling childishly and cheering when you figuratively shovel-fuck someone! That shall never get old! Being in contact with you is a life-affirming, life-enriching pleasure. You help a miserable soul find happiness. Thank you, so much.
@der_bluthund - What can I say about the only dog I find tolerable!? Some of the twitter chat we have had I can’t say has been as lovely or inspirational as others, but it’s been terrific! I mean, shower gels for crying out loud! That’s just the magic of human minutiae right there. And to top it all off you’re more than just a fantastic humourist, and genuinely warm hearted individual, you’re an activist of the highest calibre. I have nothing but respect for you and I thank you for letting me get to know you a bit. You’re a good man, and an inspiration to this one. Thank you, so much.
@TrundleDub - You are a truly funny, cake-master extraordinaire! And I can talk Final Fantasy with you, which is always a plus! It is good to know there are human beings out there who not only can I engage in small talk with, but who are happy to reciprocate. It helps me feel human. It helps me feel connected. It helps my existence feel worthwhile. Thank you, so much.  
@H_O_G_ - In terms of accepting me for who I am you are truly a marvel! I guess you really opened my eyes to the fact that sometimes people don’t want generic, they don’t want upbeat, and they don’t want happy-happy-joy-joy. Miserable cynics like me have their place, and are welcomed. I don’t think I have ever felt warmer and more comfortable with my own existence than when you made me feel that. Thank you, so much.
@Kaymee - When it comes to having a heart in the right place, yours was anchored there from the start! You are a lovely human being, a true spirited individual who knows no giving up when it comes to belief in others. And I am included in that. You always have a smile and a kind word for me when I’m feeling down. You’re always willing to take time from tweeting about important shit to remind this miserable dick that his life is worthwhile too. For that, you have my thanks, and, sadly for you, a constant stream of innuendo and me trying it on! Thank you, so much.
@MissRevolution_ - I don’t even know what I could say about you. You are truly an inspiration. And still with time to spare a kind word for me, I am truly humbled by that.  Your dedication and struggle for your fellow human being has often come close to bringing tears to my eyes. Thank you for being an inspiration. At the same time, please stop kicking guys asses on first person shooters, it’s not big and it’s not clever! (Although, it does bring me lulz :D) - Thank you, so much. 
@SocMedGirlyyj - You are a magnificent person and one who spares no time in lacing me with words of positivity. Your support and appreciation of my work is important to me, because you are truly a good human being and I couldn’t think of many better endorsements. Thank you, so much. 
@MeltemArikan - To have recieved praise from someone as talented as yourself is truly an honour. You are a true freedom fighter, and a magnificent and admirable mind and I am humbled by your praise. Thank you, so much.
@WhenOnKStreet - Seems whenever I have a shitty day, your name pops up offering support! Thank you, I may not respond but trust me, your care is duly noted, and truly appreciated.  Thank you, so much. 
@EvillySexyBitch - Despite your constant nagging for a poem of your own, you’re still awesome to me. You have a knack for making me smile, and your constant support and retweeting does not go unnoticed. You give me much credit and compliments and, while I may not feel they are deserved, you evidently do and, well I really like that. You’re a lovely person, a great human being, with a heart of gold, and I am truly humbled by your care and attention. You’re in severe danger of making me feel like I am truly worthy of your hype! That’s both a big danger for my ego, and a big compliment to how genuine and lovely you are. Thank you, so much.
@Vivid_twist - You’re a truly beautiful person. Truly. You are admirable. And your support for me is immense and truly humbling. You certainly know how to make this man smile, I know that much, and to get me to smile is a big thing. And you’re always there to praise my work, which just makes me feel a little warmer in my soul. Thank you, so much.
@_apsalar - A Breath of Fire fan? Who would have thunk it!? A thoroughly great and inspiring human being to boot. You are wonderful, that is all I can say about you. And your kind words, your support and even just your regular chat is not lost on me, I truly appreciate every word. Thank you, so much. 
@btrflysugabebe - Thank you for your support and kind words. Thank you also for introducing me to the lovely @guineapig66! You’re a lovely individual and I thank you for all your kind words and wonderful introductions. Thank you, so much.
@jstlilone - A great human being, someone who I can only assume is a model parent (or a parent who should be a model? ;) ) and one of few people who truly know the magnificence of Perry the Platypus! I have thoroughly enjoyed my conversations with you and you have truly touched my soul. And your support and praise of my work is truly appreciated. Between you and @jeeezelouise I feel like I have a troupe of the most righteous, upstanding, fantastic human beings as groupies! Thank you, so much.
@Min_Reyes - A beautiful person, inside and out! Always there to pick someone else up when they’re down and to provide faith in humanity. She’s an inspiration, for me and for many others I suspect. To know you is truly an honour, and to have words of praise from you is truly humbling. Thank you, so much.

I think I’m just about running out of names here but, if you’re reading this, you’re probably one of them! It is not that I have forgotten you, or I don’t appreciate you. I do. Indeed, more than that, I love you. And I have you all to thank, indeed, if I could fill this page with all the names of people I want to thank I would be here all night! It’s damn near 3am already! But, I just had to say thank you. Two days ago I was possibly in the deepest despair I had felt in a long time, and you helped me out of it, quickly! You helped stop it going further. There are still troubles in my life, there is still strife that you don’t know about and that I shall probably never tell you. But you help me through, one day at a time. You are my power. You are my strength. You are wonderful and have given me a new lease of life where I truly thought none existed.

Thank you, people. Thank you. I love you all. Thank you.  

What is existence but the disingenuous dream of a beast? 
What are you and I but particles of smoke
drifting in wisps from the nostrils of some oppressive dragon?
Randomly we float around the thick, scaly, reptilian skin
and latch on to it desperately trying not to dissipate away.
The roaring internal flame that cast us into smoky, grey existence
just as quickly fades away as the dragon awakes.
And thus our dream is no more.
Gone is the wistful smoke of life’s great illusion,
replaced with rueful, static ash.  

These witching hours, in their darkened silence
remind a man of his solitude.
Why sleep to dream of company,
when on waking the fragile falsehood shatters?
What sorry ropes bind misanthropes that,
during daylight, they cannot stand company, 
but for it, longing are they at night? 
Longing for a chest around which to drape
a loose and lonely limb
like some felled tree. 
The gentle rise and fall as relaxing
as the ebb and flow of tide.
Awash with her cleansing waters.
Sleeplessness banished by the metronomic
beating of a loving heart;
keeping time on shallow breath’s lullabies.  

But no such comfort exists.
Instead, I shall have to clutch sleepily
at an ethereal dream;
and hope to wish it into truth.  

I’ve taken my pops at Christianity, and rightfully so. There is a level of idiocy that comes with blindly following an ideal. There are hideous double standards, and statements of ill logic from the vehement supporters of Christ’s church; although I say Christ’s church, the church is actually a complete fallacy. Far from being the consolidation of God’s power through man, it is, in actual fact, a consolidation of man’s power through God. This is, ultimately, my biggest problem with it. 
You see, my problem with religion is not the religions themselves, but the people who exploit them. The assumption of goodness and righteousness that comes with following a set point of view. But a Christian acting Holier-than-thou is far more tolerable to me than an atheist being so. How can one be Holier-than-thou when they do not believe in holiness or divinity?  

Atheism has become, in and of itself, a religion. It’s practitioners bemoan how Christians are always trying to convert people to their way of thinking while they, themselves, are guilty of the self-same crime. But worse than that, there is an arrogant righteousness to it. Members of religions believe they are right because of something unquantifiable, and indescribable. Because they believe in a divine, spiritual entity that, in some way, rules the machinations of the world. They have rules that they must abide by. They often have certain lifestyles they must adopt. Atheists are exactly the same except they see themselves as the God. They believe in their righteousness not because it was written in ancient scriptures, but because they think they’re right. What atheism has become is literally the most self-righteous, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, self-assured, cocky, arrogant, and ultimately disgusting religion in the world today. I’ve no problem with people being atheists but, like with all religions, I would rather it were not the be-all and end-all in their lives. Yet some atheists feel the need for constantly bringing attention to their disbelief and constant bashing of those who do have belief in an organised religion. 

Here is my advice to you. Okay, so you don’t believe and God, and don’t follow a religion…Good for you…NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT AND LET PEOPLE DO WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT! “But, oh…” You say “Religion has caused so much strife and so many wars!” Bullshit! Religion doesn’t cause wars, stupid fucking people cause wars. The people will be duped into war as long as they hold their ideas dear. How long before atheists take over the world and declare war on Muslims or Christians under the premise that they “Threaten their beliefs”? Let’s face it this current War of Terror was entirely founded on the fallacy that somebody in a far off dusty land threatened our ‘way of life’ - Religion is not the cause of war, people believing too much in their bullshit ideas and ways of life are the cause of war and the ultimate cause of war, might I add, has always been, is always and shall always be, material wealth. Whether that consists of possession of land, resources or indeed something as crude as money itself. What’s more, one of the fundamental tenets of almost all major world religions is peace. What is the fundamental tenet of atheism? Nothing! Because there are no rules, no guidelines, no divine laws passed down. Just what the individual wants to think and believe, and let me tell you, the human individual is a lot fucking scarier and more evil than the Bible and its messages. People are the fucking problem, not the religions they practice. So shut your fucking self-righteous faces and stop shoving your fucking belief down everyone’s throats while criticising organised religions for doing the very same.

And stop hiding behind this logic argument too! Everyone knows religion is illogical. There are fucking practicing Bishops who know what they follow is illogical. But in the same respect there are actions committed by men of no faith whatsoever that are utterly illogical. There are occurrences, phenomena and events that are entirely illogical; are you just doing to discount them? Pretend they don’t exist or interpret them in a way that suits your beliefs? Yeah! Congratulations for pulling the oldest religious trick in the fucking books you stupid fucks! 

Let me propose a new way of thinking. It’s called Theological Ignorism - A fundamental belief that all human beings are, actually, stupid as shit and know nothing. That for every answer learned there are many more questions posed and while we should never stop searching for answers we should continue to accept that we know nothing. All we know is that we are, at this moment, a collective of individuals all trying to do our best to get through the brief lives we have and should just shut the fuck up and tolerate each other; whatever we choose to believe. This way of thinking incorporates teachings and lessons from all major religions, and its ultimate law is a respect for all other lives above our own. If someone asks you what you believe you simply say “I don’t fucking know! I’m just a mere mortal human being for whom the realms and machinations of universal creation are beyond my tiny mind’s meek grasp.”  Underneath that acceptance of your own ignorance you may believe there is no God, you may believe Christ was the lord, you may worship Elvis fucking Presley, it does not matter because you are at least intelligent and humble enough to know you know absolutely fuck all about why the universe exists. Do you see how freeing a concept that is? Of course, I won’t force this ethos on you; because I, unlike you staunch fundamentalist atheists, Christians, whatever you may, I do not claim to be right. I merely claim that I don’t fucking know. 

So, to all you staunch atheists out there who feel the need to bash religion at every opportunity. To all you non-believers who like to push your ideas and your reasons behind them on others. To you people who hate religion. Congratulations on becoming a religion yourselves; you are now completely illegitimate through your hypocrisy. Now please shut the fuck up, and stop pushing your beliefs on others, because it’s wearing really fucking thin.  

The sky cries for me when I have not the heart, 
and the wind weeps gently in mournful lament. 
The Earth provides comfort and solace until
she splits, with a roar; her energy spent. 

The animals, alive, feel my interior burning,
the foxes bark sounds more of a shriek. 
Two cats outside fighting; hissing and howling
say more than my hollow words ever speak.

The oceans grow turbulent, restless and rolling
as inside my sad soul struggles along. 
The storm clouds collide in a grey mesh of thunder
to serenade struggle with their booming song. 
 
The universe plays the notes of my emotions
plucking each one like angelic harp strings.  
A melancholic sound, a marching dirge
to the cremation of the conscience. Oh how it stings.  

He stood by the counter a raggamuffin in a rag-tag of rags.
A young boy in too-big-for-his-feet hand me down shoes.
His hand me down jeans loose on his hips
covered by the hem of a filthy, hand me down shirt.
He hands over his hand me down wealth
a plethora of coin that has burned holes in history’s pockets.
The store keeper hands the boy down a dream, 
and hands him back his hand me down cash. 

“A dream is free.” Said the clerk.
The hand me down frown of the boy turned around,
Into a smile, a hand me down smile, given by the clerk.

 

Last night witnessed one of the biggest, and most amazing nights ever for Occupy Wall Street. As thousands took to the streets to protest against corporate greed and wealth inequality not even the previously reticent mainstream media organisations could ignore it. 
But, there are problems with this. This movement has been going on for two months, and yet on one day a vast hoard of people can suddenly show up? Who are they, why were they there? Who organised them? What is more, with mainstream media interest they will start to wheel out their own ‘spokespeople’ rather than rely on the guys on the ground. Where, after all, is the legitimacy of an interview with a hooded, cold individual on the street; someone who has been part of the movement since its inception and knows all about it, when they can easily wheel their own mouthpiece into the warmth of some studio lights and get soundbites that suit their agenda?  

This movement is all inclusive, that much is true, but it is also completely independent. It is not partisan to any political agenda because it is its own political agenda, that anyone can believe in regardless of who they voted for, or intend to vote for. There are individuals from all walks of life represented in the core of the movement. But they should be wary of being too trusting, and allowing a force of numbers of bodies on streets overwhelm them, without checking whether those bodies are there for the spirit of the movement, or for the spirit of something else entirely.

A lot of word from the street last night spoke of an organisation known as UnitedNY organising things. Who are these people? Why did they feel the need to take on the role of organisers, and de facto police if some reports were to be believed? Ask the questions. What is their agenda? Were they there in the name of Occupy Wall Street, and the freedoms, transparency, equality and democracy for which it stands? It would seem not, given that they with no disguising of their elitism were trying to call the shots as the ‘authority’ behind last night’s events. So ask who were they there for? Who do they represent? Who runs them? Where does their funding come from? It is these questions, and the transparency that arises from their answers that Occupy Wall Street is all about.

There is a danger with activism that an individual can get so caught up in the moment. They can become so infused with the spirit and the passion of bodies on the street. They can become so wrapped up in what they are doing, and what they stand for that they lose the cynicism and the mistrust from which their movement was born. Anyone questioning the motivations or intentions of people who show support to them instantly become targets of hate - Suspicion ends up aimed at the suspicious while, potentially obvious co-option slips under the radar via medium of misplaced trust and an almost cult-like fanaticism to the beliefs of the movement.

Do not lose sight of your objectivism. It has been what has gotten the movement so far, and protected the movement from harmful influence. Most activists are aware of how to spot an undercover police officer, but how do you spot an undercover agenda? Particularly when you are told looking for it questions the very fabric of the movement? But, a transparent movement is the one glass house in which it would be wise to throw stones.  

What sorry death became my heart 
that I can no more find the tears?
Wherefore is that spring of sadness, 
lost, and buried over years?
What world is this that dried it up, 
and left me with emotional blindness?
What greedy cub sucked dry the teat 
of all the milk of human kindness?
What once was sweet, now bitter tastes
and bitter, likewise, tastes so sweet.
What once would lead to victorious celebration
now feels like sombre, dank defeat.

What changes rend this fragile child?
What darkness infested an innocent boy?
When did I cease to play with emotion
and let logic be my evil toy?
Why see I a human form
and instantly despise?
What crippled, soulless lens replaced
my once passionate and twinkling eyes? 
What demonic, soulless greed
did take my naive heart in grope
and twisted me into a bitter,
cynical, young misanthrope?
Why does misery extract my hope
like a cloaked oppressive reaver?
Man delights not me,
nor woman neither.  

What is a sense of self but an entirely selfish concept. Self respect, what is that but vanity with a fancy name. Something about humanity doesn’t sit right with me. There is something about it that really gets on my nerves. We’re sapient. We’re intelligent, we have a capacity for reason and yet we use it to behave as unreasonably as possible to suit our own interests. Some say this is nature, Richard Dawkins would argue that it is our genetic mission to be selfish and self serving. Well Richard Dawkins is a selfish, self-aggrandising cunt. He wants to feel important for his own reasons, like you all do. 

The death of humanity is in its ego. Until we disregard the self we will never advance. Stop thinking you’re important, you’re not. Stop thinking you deserve something, you don’t. Stop thinking the things you do matter, because they don’t. I am also guilty of the negative things mankind does. I am judgemental, susceptible to anger, I can be vicious, I can be nasty, I can be violent. But do you know what? I am to myself what I am to others; if not more so. I have no love or regard for myself and what I do. I’ve been trying to sort that out, thinking it was a ‘problem’ as if my negative self-image was not normal. I have thought for a long time that, that is where all my problems, especially my mental ones, lie. It isn’t. The problem is all you fucking idiots out there who think you matter and feel the need to try to force me to think the same. I don’t matter. What does this mean to me? It means I am completely unafraid of offending you. What else does it mean? It means I will sacrifice myself to do right by someone else. So yeah, maybe I can act like a bit of a rash brat sometimes. Sometimes I may say something you might not like. Sometimes you may find me offensive, but at the same time if you’re ever in a desperately tight spot you’d do well to remember that I’ll be the one who’ll be there for you no matter what. Because I don’t give a fuck about me. Because I think everyone else in this world is more important than the piece of sub-human scum-slime I am. Because I know I’m a fucking waste of breath so I will fight to my death if needs be for your right to keep breathing in my place.

People would do well to be more mindful of the fact that behind every internet handle, behind every username, behind all the bullshit, is a genuine human being. More than that, there is someone who is just as stupid, vapid, pointlessly average and depressingly unimportant as you. You realise that and we may just have a population of people who drop this self-interested bullshit and start looking out for each other for a change. Instead of having people pursuing love as a mutual advantage we’d have people pursuing love merely for the sake of wanting to make others feel worthwhile because they know, deep in their hearts, that no one is truly worthwhile, and thus any little shred of happiness and joy we can spread to others is the most important thing we could do.  

Or of course you could carry on living your fantasy. Keep up the pretense that you matter. Carrying on pursuing wealth and mutually beneficial relationships that are entirely pointless once you’re dead. Carry on with that, and meanwhile other people who will carry on with that will continue to produce and distribute weapons. People who want you to carry on with that will continue to exploit your labour for their selfish wealth gains. Keep it up humanity. Keep pretending you’re more than just a parasitic ape leeching off an ever-depleting planet. See if I give a fuck, we all die in the end. Indeed, not maybe, but definitely, one day this species shall be no more. Perhaps mankind will have the nous to survive the coming Apocalypse. Perhaps we will have the nous to escape our solar system before the sun dies. Perhaps we’ll  even manage to live, spreading our leeching influence, across lightyears of distance. But, by all accounts, the universe will one day find a way to balance out the miracle of its creation with a cataclysmic event of its own destruction, and I don’t think humanity could survive that, no matter how clever we like to think we are. We know nothing, we do nothing, we achieve nothing, we are nothing. 

That said, I, like you, am a human being. I exist now. I am me, nothing else. So what matters in the big scale and scheme of things? Are you going to give a shit about your savings and pension if a nuke goes up in the air? Will your first reaction to World War 3 be to worry about the house prices? Is job security such a big deal in the face of cataclysmic global destruction? No, us and now. They are what is important. Not me, not you, US - All of us. We can live together in happiness if we just stop pursuing individual happiness. If we start worrying about each other rather than ourselves. If we drop this ego bullshit and be happy to be nobodies. There could be global trust. An end to cynicism and questioning and the hurt that arises from it. There could be an end to agendas of personal gain, wealth hoarding, bullshit political agendas. Think of that world, and remember that world can only exist when you have a disregard for yourself, and all your concern invested in others. Remember that next time you want to cast aspersions about someone. Remember that behind every individual is a story, a life, reasons. There is no definite in human nature, there is only what is learned. Our true natural instincts are to come together in as large a community as possible for protection and preservation, and to share with one another to ensure survival of the collective. It is not in our nature to be greedy, selfish, self serving, evil, or murderous. There is no such thing as an ‘evil’ person, only the product of a corrupted and selfish world. It is our ethos that is evil. Because we believe too much in the self. We love ourselves too much and others too little. We have been taught to. We’ve been taught a lie about alpha-dominant individuals when, in actual fact, there need be none in humanity. We have evolved reason and the reasonable thing to do is treat others with respect and dignity. Why? Because they, like you, are a fragile, temporary, and ultimately futile human being. Is that not enough? If you think not then, I suspect you’re probably the kind of person who thinks you’re important. Well, you’re not. 

*angry blog written by a pathetic specimen of humanity. A weak willed, frail and fragile young idealistic depressive. An anxiety sufferer who has known mortal dread and fear of nothing; he’s that pathetic. He has no regard for himself, because he knows he’s not important, he’s just a brief collective of biochemicals pulled together for a paltry sum of years in a universal scale. But his lack of love for himself means he loves you more.* 

I love the ladies, yes it’s true. They look good, smell nice, have pretty curves and are generally good company. Do I think that is sexist? No, because it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it, that’s what equality is all about. That is why I support feminism. I mean true feminism; women fighting for equal respect and rights and such both domestically and internationally. Not the bullshit pseudo-feminist vagina-dominance some people proclaim as ‘feminism’ - This idea that women should be treated better than men to be considered equal spits in the very face of equality and is quite frankly disgusting and giving true feminism a bad name. But that’s a rant for another blog. 
In this one I wanted to talk about the role of women in today’s movements of dissent. Women are vitally important. Before the days of women’s suffrage in the UK, it was generally assumed that females were too busy thinking about hats and kittens to even be troubled for an opinion on their politics. That was ‘man’s business’ - Except, by excluding females from the discussion men proved they were nothing short of insecure numpties who probably felt inadequate sexually. Having moved on (if only partly, there is still a lot of work to do) from the bullshit patriarchal paradigm, women have found their voices heard a lot more and, to be fair, the pally men’s club of politics would do well to listen to them. 

AND DON’T EVEN START BY MENTIONING FEMALE POLITICIANS! You name me any female politician and I can name you a woman who wishes she had a dick! There is no *true* feminist representation in government, certainly not in this country. Just women who want to pretend to be ‘one of the guys’, penis-envying types who have sold out their gender for a seat at the pseudo-patriarchal table.  

This seems to be going off on a lot of ranty tangents, and for good reason. Because the whole issue is confused. The reason I have chosen to discuss this is because I have been in touch with many women who are part of the political movement. These are mothers, daughters and sisters who in years past would never have been allowed to air their views or get their voice heard but who are now making a stand for true, and equal politics.  These are women who aren’t penis envying types looking for a place at the man’s table. These are women who are what they are, wanting to make an improvement not just for themselves, but for all humanity. A dream shared across age, race, and gender gaps. Why then is their such confusion regarding gender roles in politics? Should politics not always be about doing what is right for your fellow human being regardless of age, race and gender? 

And that is why these new movements of politically active females are so important. These are human beings first and foremost and gender does not cloud that. For myself, and all men, having been raised in a pseudo-patriarchal society, these are the examples we should be looking at for what equality truly means. From every female activist on the street, to the ones sat behind their computers as femanons, their gender is irrelevant in what they do. It is truly admirable how they have to fight against such an undercurrent of assumed male dominance, and casual sexism. Particularly in the online world where I am sure “Tits or GTFO…” must get a bit tiring. But they do fight, and that is why I respect them.

Some men in this world might find some vapid tart, slathered in make-up and willing to pop-out babies on cue and do the washing up to be the ultimate prize woman. But that doesn’t do it for me. Those people need to accept that times are changing, and women with it, and indeed the women are vital for and instrumental to the change. There is nothing more sexually appealing to this man than an engaging, intelligent and politically vocal woman. And the minute men start casting off the shackles of their engineered teachings of male-dominance in the world, the minute they stop believing in assumed societal roles and the generalisation, stereotyping and prejudice that comes with it, the minute men start to recognise that the pre-conceived gender roles are bullshit, then we can have true gender equality.  

To all you ladies out there fighting the good fight, you have my support, my respect and my love. I only hope some piddle-dicked, vacuous infantile male does not make your lives difficult by questioning your motives or your abilities. You are champions. Vital for the cause of political and social change and you don’t merely deserve a seat at the men’s table. We should create a new table, a new social paradigm, one inclusive of all.

This blog post has all been rather confused, but I think you get the message. I apologise for the wanton nature of it, when I think of female activists this man’s mind turns to mush, unfortunately.  

A barefoot messenger of bad news braves 
the cold winter cobbles,
The archangel brings not tidings of great joy, but misery.
My shoulders, not yours,
bearing the weight of bad news and blame. 

For there, not white snowflakes falling on the carpet, 
but crushed china memories, ruined by selfish hate.

Old Father Time had I brought in from the cold, 
to share the warmth of our hearth in festivity,
in union, in love and the spirit of togetherness.
And yet, such a metaphor;
Your fucking fist fragments our family.
The frost that jeweled the ground, burnt at my naked toes.
Yet nothing was it compared to your frozen, hateful heart.
How many more years has Old Father Time
to spend his festivities with the eons he begat.
And you ruined it.
Two turtle doves lay smashed.

I’m extraordinary in my mediocrity. 
A unique member of a uniform species.
My only significance is my insignificance.
I exist and yet, I’m not really here.
My paradoxes are meaningful in their meaninglessness.
I am everything, and nothing.
I am pressed for time in eternity.
I was yesterday to be tomorrow’s today.
I’ve walked a million streets and got nowhere.
I work hard to doing nothing.
I am soul incarnate. 
I am,
and that’s all I need to be.  

Do you remember when life was about living?
Interconnectivity of human beings, 
collectives and storytelling by campfire.
Hunter gatherers providing for friend and stranger alike, 
for there were no strangers.

Do you remember the days when we used to be?
A body with a soupcon of soul.
Conversing in our evening times
by the light of a paraffin lamp.  

Do you remember when we once were tribes?
When wars were settled with a handshake and a trade?
When violence was too bloody, too real, too futile.
When we used the resources around us,
and those we had not, we did without.

Do you remember?
No, me neither.
All I recall is dank front rooms in Dolby surround
as floating ghosts flitted between their own dimensions and mine.
They called themselves ‘family’ but they were unfamiliar.
All I recall is imagination drowned out by the noise
of cheap, made-in-taiwan toys, inhuman plastic;
television the nurturing compost in which my roots were planted.
It would make a shit movie.  
It would make a good book, but it would go unpublished
as English literature classes of the future
flick their kindles to the next page of the WAG spit-roast saga.  
Paperbacks watch on from shelves at the back,
‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’ yellowed with age and green with envy.  
Crooners sing soulful ballads via medium of electronic elevator muzak speakers
while genetically engineered holograms, look the same, sound the same
are propped up at the top of the charts by carbon copies.
Gawp at the latest cartoon craze, drawn not by man but mouse,
in fully rendered 3D (maybe even 4D or 5D, that’d be a gimmick).
A million and one ways to distract the mind.
After all, there’s no profit in letting us remember
we’re only human. All of us.  

for @jstlilone

There’s always time to share a smile,
no matter what the time of day.
Fear not for petty ridicule;
Worry not what ‘they’ might say.
Do not hesitate to place
yourself at the bottom of the pile
if it puts a smile on another’s face
then it is truly worth your while.
Even if it’s half 3 in the morn,
and you are tired as hell,
spread love, and joy; not callous scorn.
If we all do this, the world is well. 

Hope this brings you some joy. :D 

For Jena, and @MissRevolution_ 
(read Jena’s heartbreaking story here http://rebgaming.com/hope-for-jena/ ) 

What use are these words when solace is sought
by sad and sombre souls. 
Each syllable sounds hollow, and emptily 
rolls off the tongue. 
But shallow words are comforting; 
a shelter from the cold, 
when true sentiment is behind them. 

A piece of your heart, once weary, now rests
in the serenity of spectral spheres;
A piece of your heart that illuminates darkness,
with love, and joy and hope.
Free from pain and sadness she floats,
finding spirits rapt with deathly fear and,
with just a hopeful touch,
lets them know, they’re ok.

So while you wander Earth’s physical realm,
a slave to man, to time and misfortune.
Think of that Heavenly smile and know
that paradise possesses two angels.
One, with a piece of your heart,
enlightens the darkness of the spirit world.
The other, here on Earth,
Your heart itself,
struggles against the tide;
and enlightens the darkness
for those who struggle there with you.

Oh would that tears could quench this sorry thirst; 
I would gladly fill my empty cup therewith.
Oh that blood and sweat were all that were required
to rid me of this lingering lust.
Yet so it be that all that passes these parched lips of mine
are words of weaknesses and regret from a dry, sharp tongue. 
How oft I wish, with my body turgid with desire, 
that pain were as intoxicating as liquor.
For then need I crave not.  
But merely to lay back, and enjoy the hurt.  

The cool air ripped by rockets and whistles, 
and multi-coloured bangs and pops.
A fire burns, and crackles, smouldering.
An effigy perched, melting on top.

What is this night? This callous celebration?
But an authoritarian establish wank,
a time for us to persecute revolutionaries, 
with ‘ooh’ing and ‘ahh’ing and pomp and swank.

They had wanted to blow up parliament,
Who thinks this not, from time to time?
So why celebrate their saving on the 5th,
When it is they who have committed the greater crime?

And while you watch your technicolour gunpowder,
think of those in nations far from here,
for whom the bangs and pops are real.
People who live in constant fear. 

Remember, remember the fifth of November.
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
A subversive celebration of ritual savagery.
Perpetuated to keep the powers aloft.  

When the wind howls like a wolf in mourning, 
and each laboured, rabid breath bites your lungs.
I am reminded of how I have such love for the winter seasons,
and they no love for me.

I recall standing in the orange glow of a street lamp,
on the chilly streets of that marshy town.
I remember embracing you, at the bus stop.
We’d just exchanged Christmas gifts, 
and as the bus pulled up,
we exchanged kisses.
And then I left you,
and shortly after,
you left me.

Oh how cold a heart could become in winter weather.
I should have known. The frosty glistening
covering all that I could see
was the frozen tears of fortune.
Weeping at my fate.

Time passes. Hearts mend.
Until again, in December winds
a distant love, whom I had allowed to escape my tether
in selflessness, in charity, in love
desired further space.
Further space? You already lived 400 miles away,
How much more space did you need?
The winds raged with me. Blustery, blowing outside the window
next to which I sat.
I remember saying “If you want a mug, I’ll buy you one for Christmas,
but it won’t be me.”
And that was that.  

Liquid nitrogen veined, icicle weeping. 
another cold heart, another frozen love.
Snowflakes seem to hang in the air
recanting tales of harsh softness.
A blanket of pure, white snow.
The only time of year a blanket can be freezing cold.

Time passes. Hearts mend. 
Yet fallen leaves and barren trees again portend.
This time, not my heart broken
but my poor, sorry brain.
A brain-freeze perhaps? Neuralgia from coming in from the cold?
Alas, whatever the cause it caused me pain,
and thus you too.
I could have held on. I could have stayed forever but,
you need a man not a pet.
So as the bitter frost seized my mind,
and sorry red snowflakes whispered down my arms,
I apologised to you. And told you I had to go.
My heart was cold. But it had to be.
Were I to have allowed it any warmth I couldn’t have done it.
And you would still be in that hell.
The one into which I descended further.
Until all oblivion I sought.

Time passes. But this time my heart does not mend.
Instead, I leave a little piece with you.
And as the dark sets in early,
and duvets seem welcome distraction
from the icy, bitter world outside.
I shall always remember what was.
Rather than dwell on what could have been.